30 Hilarious Offensive Cross Stitches That Are Much Better Than Cliche Quotes

The Following Cross Stitches Are Not Exactly Inspirational.

What comes to your mind when you think of cross stitches? Well, I’ll tell you what I think. I think of a Grandma thoughtfully stitching inspirational quotes on a pillow or displayed in a frame.

However, the following cross stitches are nothing like that. Don’t get what I mean? Don’t worry, you will understand soon enough.

#1 Where Are The Dinosaurs When You Need Them?

#2 That Seems Very Welcoming.

#3 I 100% Agree.

#4 This Should Be The True Saying.

#5 Aren’t We All?

#6 And Yet I Will Still Find You Cute.

#7 Thanks For That Fact.

#8 I See What You Did There.

#9 Why Did I Never Think About That?

#10 Yup, Look What You Made Me Do.

#11 My Life Motto.

#12 Very True.

#13 Okay…

#14 This Sounds Much More Like Reality.

#15 Would You Kindly?

#16 We Could Never Find Someone Like That.

#17 Don’t We All.

#18 So You Five No Fucks?

#19 Rainbows Are Of Course Associated With Gangster Life.

#20 Because I Am A Fucking Lady!

#21 Let Your Freak Flag Fly!

#22 Should We All Resort To Cannibalism Now?

#23 Can I Join You?

#24 Was It A Good Dream?

#25 Finally Someone Understands.

#26 Thanks For Making Me Realize That.

#27 I Feel Much Better Now.

#28 This Is Certainly Educational.

#29 Shall We Do It In The Living Room?

#30 Ending This With The Following Inspirational Quote.

Elon Musk: ‘Getting in a car will be just like getting in an elevator’ in 10 years

The race to the first fully self-driving car might be raging on at full speed, but one of its main participants, benevolent Bond villain Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, is already looking well past the finish line into the autonomous future. Musk — who was also on hand to announce Tesla’s expansion into the […]

The race to the first fully self-driving car might be raging on at full speed, but one of its main participants, benevolent Bond villain Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, is already looking well past the finish line into the autonomous future.

Musk — who was also on hand to announce Tesla’s expansion into the United Arab Emirates, the company’s first official entrance to the Middle Eastern market — told a panel at the World Government Summit in Dubai Monday that while self-driving car systems are imminent within the next few years, it might take longer for the tech to fully “disrupt” manual driving. When it does, he believes the world economy needs to be prepared to adjust to a society that no longer needs human drivers as part of the workforce. Business Insider first posted the video of Musk’s remarks.

“My guess is that in probably 10 years it will be very unusual for cars to be built that are not fully autonomous,” he said, before touting the Tesla HW2 hardware package, which could feasibly provide full Level 5 autonomy right now.

What’s holding it back is the automaker’s Enhanced Autopilot software system, which will be incrementally rolled out this year via over-the-air software updates. The software needs to collect more on-road driving data before it’s prepared to be used for true autonomy on a massive scale. The goal is for the system to be prepared for at least one cross-country autonomous ride by the end of this year.

“Getting in a car will be just like getting in an elevator,” Musk said. “You just tell it where you want to go and it takes you there with extreme levels of safety, and that will be normal.”

Even if the self-driving tech is already close at hand, Musk believes it will still take some time to have paradigm-shifting effects.

“The point at which we see full autonomy appear will not be the point at which there is massive societal upheaval,” he said, “because it will take a lot of time to make enough autonomous vehicles to disrupt the economy.” He guessed the full disruption won’t come for another 20 years or so.

When that disruption comes, though, he’s concerned about the potential negative economic impact autonomous cars could have — namely, putting those in industries currently dependent on driving-based jobs out of work. Musk stressed the importance of finding other ways to get displaced drivers working in an autonomous future, because they make up such a large percentage of the global economy.

Throughout the conversation, Musk also hit on some of his other passions and favorite talking points: AI paranoia, cyborgs, super intelligent aliens monitoring Earth as we speak, his secret tunnel and space exploration, repeating his predictions that humans will live on Mars within our lifetimes. After all, he thinks dying on Mars would be a fine way to go out.

 

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The Smarter You Are, The Longer You Yawn, Mad Scientist Says

Yawning is as common as it is mysterious: even though just about every animal with a backbone does it, we don’t really know why. A new study from the State University of New York has turned up some strange new details about yawning, finding that animals with bigger brains have longer yawns. Led by psychologist […]

Yawning is as common as it is mysterious: even though just about every animal with a backbone does it, we don’t really know why.

A new study from the State University of New York has turned up some strange new details about yawning, finding that animals with bigger brains have longer yawns.

Led by psychologist Andrew Gallup, the research team discovered this in the most scientific way possible: by timing YouTube videos of yawning animals, including cats, dogs, chimps, elephants, hedgehogs and — of course — humans.

The 29 animals in the study were chosen because of their inclusion in a 2005 study that precisely documented the weights of their brains and the number of neurons in their cortexes — the outer layer of the brain that processes the most information.

Heavy-brained humans had the longest yawns, while pinheaded mice and rats had the shortest. In general, primates had longer yawns than other mammals, lasting about 4.5 seconds on average.

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tgilbers, Flickr

In the full paper, the researchers write that their finding supports the idea that yawning has some important “neurophysiological function” — most likely to enhance blood flow inside your skull or to regulate brain temperature.

Animals with more complex brains might need longer yawns to “to more effectively modulate cortical arousal”, that is, which parts of the brain get switched on (and not sexual arousal, which is what everyday folks usually mean by that word).

Yawning is legendarily contagious — so contagious that even reading this article about yawning might trigger a yawn — but the researchers aren’t sure what their finding indicates about the possible social or communicative function of yawns.

They concluded that further research on yawning is needed, and that it should take into account the duration of yawning.

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kultakarva, Flickr

The paper quoted neuroscientist Robert Provine, who observed that “yawning may have the dubious distinction of being the least understood, common, human behaviour”.

FYI, Provine is the mad scientist who, in his research on yawning, attempted to produce a “doomsday yawn” — the perfect set of triggers that could induce a yawn 100 percent of the time. (It didn’t work, thankfully.)

 

WHO knew the world needed more Russell Coight?

WHO knew the world needed more Russell Coight?

The resurrection of a hapless travel character, two new Aussie dramas, and a raft of returning reality shows: these are the building blocks of Channel 10’s offerings to viewers in 2017.

Among the new offerings is Ten’s punt on laughs and nostalgia, with the return of comedian Glenn Robbins’ alter-ego Russell Coight after a 15-year absence.

Russell Coight’s All Aussie Adventures was last seen on Ten in 2002, as an hilarious parody on the adventure travel genre.

Channelling the likes of the Leyland Brothers, Steve Irwin and Harry Butler, but with the bush skills of none of them, Coight would bumble his way through the outback in a mockumentary travel show long on sight gags, self-delusion, self-injury and failed examples of his bushcraft. He’d end each show with the catchcry “So what are we waiting for, let’s get cracking on another All Aussie Adventure”, but his mangled one-liners, scant details, fudged facts and talent for stating the blindingly obvious were what gained him cult status.

Some visitors to Australia didn’t get the joke — and actually thought travel’s antihero was real.

Russell Coight’s All Aussie Adventuresleads a modest bag of New Australian content unveiled by Ten for the next year, with Ten CEO Paul Anderson saying their network would concentrate on further increasing its prime time audience by locking in its 7.30pm reality franchises for the year.

“We will create year-round consistency in our 7.30pm franchises, something Ten

has never achieved before,” he said.

“Growth, momentum and consistency have been the hallmark of Ten in recent years and

that will continue in 2017.

Original article 

37 Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Australia

1. Australia is as wide as the distance between London to Moscow.
2. The biggest property in Australia is bigger than Belgium.
3. More than 85% of Australians live within 50km of the coast.
4. Australia was the second country in the world to allow women to vote (New Zealand was first).
5. The world’s oldest fossil, which is about 3.4 billion years old, was found in Australia.
6. Australia is very sparsely populated: The UK has 248.25 persons per square kilometre, while Australia has only 2.66 persons per square kilometre.
7. Australia has the highest electricity prices in the world.
8. There were over one million feral camels in outback Australia, until the government launched the $19m Feral Camel Management Program, which aims to keep the pest problem under control.

Continue reading on the next page…

Australia Just Won Gold In The Most Challenging AF Event At Rio

Aussie Chloe Esposito has won gold at Rio in an event few Australians have even heard of.

sub-buzz-27419-1471655882-1Rob Carr / Getty Images

Esposito began the final event in seventh place. She finished in 12 minutes, 10.19 seconds to end with1,372 points, a new Olympic record.

Pentathlon has been an Olympic sport since the games began in 708 BC: the ancient variety featured wrestling, discus, javelin, long jump and the stadion – a sprint of 180m.

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So basically the ancient events were mostly what we now call athletics – except the athletes competed NAKED.

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1. Today 24-year-old Chloe Esposito grabbed her surprise gold after bossing the run! 🇦🇺 🙌

sub-buzz-28765-1471658076-1Yasuyoshi Chiba / AFP / Getty Images

2. 2016’s modern pentathlon featured a combined running + shooting event, with competitors running four 800m laps, with laser shooting at targets before each lap.

sub-buzz-24271-1471658341-1Sam Greenwood / Getty Images

3. The other challenging AF “modern” events are fencing…

sub-buzz-30396-1471658904-1Rob Carr / Getty Images

4. 200m freestyle swimming….

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Continue reading on the next page…

Australian athlete Alex Hartmann Worked At Big W For Nine Years To Follow His Olympic Dream

Australian athlete Alex Hartmann is damn fast. So fast in fact that he’s currently in Rio, competing in the Olympics.

Off to the @athleticsaustralia Rio Opening Ceremony! #RoadToRio #OneTeam #Olympics #OpeningCeremony with @dbirds92 @pbol24

A post shared by Alex Hartmann (@alexhartmannathlete) on

Alex’s race is the 200-metre sprint. Yeah, the same race in which Usain Bolt will be trying to break his own world record next week.

Unlike most Olympic athletes however, 23-year-old Alex didn’t start any kind of athletic training until he was 16. This was mainly due to the fact that it’s bloody expensive.

“Growing up, money was always a little tight” . “It’s not like we didn’t have food to eat or anything like that, but extras like Little Athletics just weren’t a necessary cost. At the time, my parents just couldn’t justify spending what was a fair amount of money.”

As soon as he was old enough, Alex got a job at Big W, where he stayed for the next nine years. Besides buying a Suzuki Swift, almost all of the money he earned went towards training, gear, and competitions.

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@alexhartmannalthete / Via instagram.com

“My managers knew I was striving to be an Olympic champion and pretty much let me work the hours I wanted,” said Alex. “On a standard day, I’d work in the morning, go home for a half-hour nap, eat, and then spend the evening training. I’ve done pretty much every job there that didn’t require me being a manager.”

A year and a half ago, Alex quit his job to train full-time. While he refused a farewell dinner, his colleagues threw a morning tea to see him off.

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@alexhartmannathlete / Via instagram.com

“I still visit the store every now and then to see how everyone is and to have a laugh – they’re some of my biggest fans.”

“The Olympics are known to produce some amazing results, so anything is possible,” said Alex, counting down the days until his first race in Rio.

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@alexhartmannalthlete / Via instagram.com

Zookeeper Finally Gives In To Pokémon Go Craze With Stat Cards Next To Live Animals

With Pokémon Go on the rise quite literally all over the world, resisting the trend of the 90’s kids childhood phenomenon is pretty silly of you at this point. As much as you try to resist, you know it’s just not possible to do so for long. I know people of older generations that are even playing it now and using it as a way to stay in shape. It’s amazing! That being said, it’s recently taken over a zoo in Birmingham, Alabama, where thanks to one zookeeper, the craze will continue! How, exactly? 

She replaced the zoo’s exhibit signs with stats on real life animals that are present in the zoo! Upon discovering that people were visiting the zoo simply to chase Pokémon, she gave in to the craze as a way to get them all to actually look at the exhibits. It’s amazing what this game can and has done for millions so far.

“Decided to jump on the Pokémon Go hype train at the zoo!”

She wrote this on a Tumblr page called zookeeperproblems!

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photo source

The Winner of Pokémon Go Has Been Found

The super popular Nintendo Game, Pokémon Go, has only been out for a few weeks, but it appears that this New York man has finished – yes – finished the game!

Self proclaimed as the first U.S. winner of the game, Nick Johnson (also known as ftb_hodor on Reddit) used his faith, brains and super duper strong legs to achieve this outstanding achievement and recognition.

Gaining popularity on Reddit, Nick Johnson posted a bunch of helpful advice to help others with capturing their Pokémon.

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Nick traveled around his home town in New York which meant walking for a total 153.2km (which is approximately 95 miles!)

Surely this will be a phenomenal way for America to get rid of their obesity epidemic, right?

We did the math and if you were to play Pokémon Go for 14 days straight, you’d have to walk 2.5 hours a day to achieve the same walking goal! There’s no guarantee that you’d find all Pokémon, though. Sorry guys!

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Here is a list of the friendly advice Nick so helpfully published:

1. To level quickly, focus your attention on common Pokémon like Pidgey and Weedle. They don’t require much candies to evolve and will help to level you up

2. Use a second phone. This will be your ‘radar’. If you’re busy on another app using maps (ie Google maps) or at a Poké-Gym participating in a battle, this back up phone will help to locate any Pokémon around you

3. “There aren’t many social features built in, but its a very social game. If you don’t know where to find a specific Pokémon, ask your fellow trainers! They’re usually happy to help out.”

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It’s important to note that due to the success, Nintendo has transformed almost overnight, adding a whopping $7.5 BILLION to its worth, and increasing their stock shares by 25%. 

What level are you?!