7. People Who Spit On The Sidewalk
Some delightful people have an aversion to their own saliva and therefore feel the need to release it all onto the sidewalk. They maybe even believe it to be macho and “badass.” These people are wrong and keep their mouths firmly shut until they learn to swallow like a reasonable human being.
8. People Who Catcall
“Hey girl, you’d look cuter if you smiled!” YOU are the reason we are not smiling sir and right before that we were thinking about our shopping list and wondering if our parking meter’s run out or not. Also, why would we smile when we are ALONE? That’s just plain weird! Oh, and our eyes are up here jackass.
9. People Who Unnecessarily Sit Next To You
We can only assume you are plotting our murder if for example, we are in an empty movie theater and you choose the seat right next to us. Come to think of it, even the same row is a bit weird.
10. People Who Play Music Without Headphones
Ok, so we’ve probably played music out of our phone once or twice, but only quietly!
Those who blast songs out at full volume, we can only assume believe themselves to be in a rap video. Or perhaps they feel like they need a theme tune to accompany their awesome presence. Either way, they’re disturbing the peace.
11. People Who Take Up A Seat With Their Bag
Things your bag is (apparently) more important than: old people, children, pregnant women, disabled people, every other human being alive. Things we are being sarcastic about: All of the above.
12. People Who Take Forever At The Register
We’ve definitely held up the line when we’ve had a brain fart on how to operate the card machine…But why is it that no matter which line you choose, it’s always the slowest one?
You know, the one with the person that has 500 coupons, a bag of pennies and an endless story to tell. Oh, and don’t get us started on “lady who wants to return 15 items, but doesn’t have the receipt.” AGH!
13. People Who FaceTime In Public
Why is it necessary for Tina and Yaz to accompany you on your trip to Target? Your virtual group hang is making us feel left out and overexposed to teen drama. Learn to be alone, child! It’ll do you good!
14. People Who Talk To You On Airplanes
This one might just be us as we’re phenomenally awkward with strangers and fear uncomfortable silences almost as much as death. Bu when a friendly passenger utters the harrowing sentence, “How are you?” they’ve opened the flood gates to four hours of pain and surface-level filler when all we really wanted to do was read a trashy magazine and possibly take a nap.
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