Dear America, Sorry, But Your Chocolate Fucking Sucks

Hi America. You’re good at a lot of things and should be proud of many accomplishments.

ABC

Like your cheap alcohol and ability to free-pour…

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The fact you birthed stars like Leonardo DiCaprio…

Warner Bros. Pictures

And we admire your ability to really celebrate things. Fourth of July, Halloween, etc etc.

Paramount Pictures

Well done.

But America, dear friend, we need to talk about something VERY IMPORTANT.

ABC

Your chocolate fucking sucks.

FOX

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