*looks at Facebook event invite*
ME: "I'd rather kill myself"
*clicks on MAYBE ATTENDING*
— Brittany Ashley (@britt27ash) April 19, 2015
PROTIP: You don't even have to have anything playing in the headphones to get people to stop talking to you.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) April 22, 2016
me: i'm so lonely. why doesn't anyone ever ask to hang out??
me: *never replies to texts* *likes being alone*
— Jamie Curry (@jaamiecurry) April 22, 2016
"No new friends." – Drake (but also me)
— Hannah Hart (@harto) April 14, 2016
People who think they can just show up to your house with no warning whatsoever have issues 🤔
— Kingsley (@kingsleyyy) February 9, 2016
Yes of course I got your text – I'm just ignoring it. Don't make it weird.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 27, 2015
FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend
ME: generic excuse
FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) February 10, 2016
Really glad I woke up early so I can spend more time in bed on my phone
— Max Weisz (@maxnosleeves) February 22, 2016
The most spontaneous thing about me is my menstrual cycle.
— sarah croce (@sarahcroce) November 19, 2015
Friends: omg lets go out tonight
me: okay I'm down
Friends: we're outside
— Skeeter Valentine (@4everKelz) June 12, 2016
leaving the house with 72% battery for a night out. BREATHE.
— cat (@catrific) June 1, 2016
I need three hours to get ready and two of those are me talking myself into getting ready
— AndreasChoice (@AndreasChoice) May 5, 2016
I'm in a committed relationship with Do Not Disturb mode.
— ♡ A L E X I S ♡ (@sassyblackdiva) March 23, 2016
just pretended to walk past the elevator so I could come back & get one all to myself
— trespassing meat (@AlexisGZall) July 11, 2016
me: new friendships sound kinda nice
brain: ok but consider this………………………….. isolation
— ⅆonny (@graciasdonyale) August 16, 2016
When I was a teenager I always wanted to go out, I'd even sneak out of my parents' house. Now all I want is for friends to cancel plans.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 15, 2016
I believe in annoyed at first sight
— Amy Ordman (@amyordman) August 2, 2016
I'm terrible at responding to texts, emails, DMs, phone calls, voice messages, and birds carrying letters. I'm sorry please love me still.
— Adelaine M♡RIN (@AdelaineMorin) August 6, 2016
I really need to start answering my text messages as soon as I get them and not two weeks later 🙄😂
— gabriella (@velvetgh0st) July 30, 2016
wondering how i will ever mantain a successful relationship when there's nothing i value more than alone time
— dru (@drumaq) July 6, 2016